Moon Shadow
by Grav
Summary: He's being followed by a moon shadow


AN: Note to self…lay off the Cat Stevens. Isa gave me permission to do this! I can write three, and only three, dead!Janet fics.

Spoilers: Movie, CotG, The Gamekeeper, FiaD, Heroes (yeah, it's that kind) and speculation after reading the cast list of Threads.

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.

Summary: He's being followed by a moon shadow.

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**Moon Shadow**

_I'm being followed by a moon shadow,  
Moon shadow, moon shadow.  
Leaping and hopping on a moon shadow,  
Moon shadow, moon shadow._

The Child would be good someday. He mind was hungry and his parents fed him up until he though he might burst, but for wanting more. He followed them around the world, absorbing language and culture and custom and history like a sponge, never guessing where his path would one day lead. And then in one horrible moment, his life literally crashed down around his ears, and learning was the only thing he had left.

_And if I ever lose my hands,  
Lose my plough, lose my land  
Yes if I ever lose my hand, of if…  
I won't have to work no more._

The Boy thought his life had ended that cold, wet day he had given a lecture to an empty room. They had taken everything from him: credibility, dignity, the spark of academia. But as he stood in the rain on the great stone steps, his life changed again forever. He was right. He could never tell anyone, never regain what he had lost, but he was right. And so he stayed with her, and forgot the world so eager to forget him.

_And if I ever lose my eyes  
If my colours all run dry  
Yes if I ever lose my eyes, oh if…  
I won't have to cry no more._

The Man left the desert in a way he had not expected. He went from a world of vibrant colour and a life where he had been a contributing member of society to a gray and blue cave where men in uniform looked right through him and ignored his grief. But she and the year had changed him more than he knew, and he refused to sit by while there was he could work to save her.

_And if I ever lose my legs,  
I won't moan and I won't beg  
Yes if I ever lose my legs, oh if…  
I won't have to walk no more._

The Widower submitted his resignation almost immediately; the easiest decision he had ever made, even if it did turn out to be imaginary. He wanted nothing more than to disappear entirely. It should have been easy enough: half of him was already gone. But the phantom pains were more persistent than he'd expected and though he would have sworn he no longer had the ability, his legs carried him through the 'Gate anyway and he continued the fight.

_And if I ever lose my mouth  
All my teeth, north and south  
Yes if I ever lose my mouth, oh if…  
I won't have to talk_

The Reborn had picked up the pieces and welded them back together. He had become more like his friends and less like himself, but he continued the fight. And he loved again. For a time, he smiled easily and work was something to be left in the Mountain at the end of the day. But nothing ever fits back the same was twice and lightning does more damage the second time it strikes.

_Did it take long to find me  
I ask the faithful light  
Did it take long to find me  
And are you going to spend the night?_

The Anger was in him now, and also the despair, but he continued because that was the kind of man he was. He would learn and he would fight and he would live. Something he had was lost forever, something that could not be brought back with persuasion and a near death experience. He would not actively seek death, but he would choose it.

_Yes I'm being followed by a moon shadow,  
Moon shadow, moon shadow.  
__Leaping and hopping on a moon shadow  
__Moon shadow, moon shadow._

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**fin**

AN: No, I am not in any way suggesting that the Ancients are responsible for all the Bad Stuff that has happened to Daniel Jackson as part of some nefarious plan they had to turn him whether he liked it or not. Whatever would give you _that _idea?

By "choose death", I mean that, like Jack, he would choose not to ascend if given the choice between that and death. Or at least, I think he would.


End file.
